Let me go
by spobyisperf
Summary: Spencer is tired of everything. Of A, of Melissa teasing her, of her parents always taking her side on everything and never believing anything Spencer says. She's tired of lying to Toby especially. So when she decides to end it all, she doesn't realize she'll bring Toby's entire world with her.
1. Chapter 1

**Spencer POV**

I just ran. I had had enough of A. I was done. No more. I ran upstairs gripping the pocket knife I had secretly kept with me since the Ian incident in the bell tower. I got into the bathroom and locked the door, although there was no point. My friends had all gone home right after me, and my parents were out of town in Philly with Melissa. I was crying as I watched the knife slide out. With each cut into my wrist, I thought of every reason. My friends wouldn't have as much drama, A would have to find a new target, my parents would be rid of a nuisance, and Melissa could have everything; although she got it anyways and…Toby. The thought of Toby made me stop. But within a few seconds I continued. He could do better than a broken helpless girl. A girl who has put him through so much. He deserved someone who could be 100% honest about everything. Not a girl who had to lie about everything she did to protect him. No, he could do better than me. Sure he'd be upset but he'd get over it soon. Same with my friends. I smiled as each cut got deeper and deeper, and the physical pain was taking over the emotional. I watched as the blood dripped, and right before my world started to go black, I wrote a note to Toby, so he'd know.

**Toby POV**

I got up out of bed, and looked at my clock. It was 1:07, why was I up at this time? I just had this feeling something bad was happening, and my first thought was Spencer. I got my phone out and called her. It went to voicemail, and I knew her parents were out of town in Philly so I got out of bed and drove as fast as I could to her house. I opened the door and went upstairs, headed towards her room, when I saw the bathroom light on. I knocked and called out softly,

"Spence? You okay? It's Toby." I rattled the door after there was no response, and I peeked into her room just in case, but it was empty. I heard something dripping and I rattled the door harder.

"Spence! Are you in there? Are you okay?" I said louder. "I'm gonna break down this door if you aren't gonna unlock it. I'll give you until 5. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5! I'm breaking it down." I rammed the door as hard as I could and stumbled into the bathroom into a sight I'd never forget. My girlfriend, the one true love in my life was lying on the floor, cuts all in her wrist, blood all over the floor.

"Oh my God Spence! Spencer!" I cried. I felt for a pulse everywhere, but I couldn't find one. I called 911.

"911 what's your emergency?" the woman asked.

"My- my girlfriend. She's just tried to commit suicide and I can't find a pulse. I need an ambulance." I said through my tears. Almost five minutes later, an ambulance siren came into hearing and paramedics came rushing upstairs to see her. I just sat numbly on the couch as they drove her off in the ambulance I called Emily.

"Hello? Why are you calling in the middle of the night Toby?" Emily said sleepily.

"I-I called to tell you that-that Spencer" I couldn't get the rest out; I was choking on my own tears. As Emily said something I couldn't process, I could definitely tell she was awake now.

"Oh God Emily, Spencer. I don't know why but I found her. I just found her in her bathroom and I'm not sure if she is but. Oh my God!" I moaned through my tears. "I think she's dead." I whispered. There was no response, and next thing I knew it was just the dial tone. I just sat there with the phone on my ear still, crouched on the ground crying. I just kept crying and crying and next thing I knew, Emily was there next me, with her arm around me.

"Toby. What happened?" she asked, slightly scared. I sniffled, as my tears were starting to dry.

"I woke up suddenly, and there was just this feeling I had that something was wrong. So I thought of Spencer first, and I called her, but there was no answer and I just couldn't shake the feeling so I drove here. I was gonna see if she was in her room, but the bathroom light was on, so I peeked in her room, but it was empty. I knocked on the door, but there was no response. Eventually I broke it down, but Em. I'll never be able to get that sight of her lying there. She was there in her own blood, and she had cuts, just all over her arms. I didn't even know she owned a pocket knife. Emily, they couldn't tell me if she was alive. What'll I do if she's not?" I looked at Emily, who was gaping at me in shock. Thirty minutes later, Emily, Aria, Hanna, Caleb and I were sitting in the hospital waiting room. As a nurse came out, she asked for the family of Spencer Hastings. I shot up instantly and bombarded the nurse with questions.

"Sir," she began sadly, cutting off my questions. "We need the family to confirm identity. Are you family?"

"No. I'm not. But I'm the only thing she's got. Her parents don't love her. Only the people here do. But why do you need to confirm identity? Is she not awake yet?" I asked. The nurse looked at me sadly and began in a tone that said, are you not understanding?

"Sir, we need relatives to identify her, to make sure before we can release her." I just stared at her, confused.

"Sir, I'm sorry you aren't getting this so I'll have to be blunt. Spencer Hastings is dead." And that's when my world ended.

**Ten years later**

I woke up to begin the routine that I was able to understand unlike everything else. Get up, get dressed, eat, go to work, have dinner with Emily, come home, shower, go to sleep, repeat. This was exactly how the past ten years had gone by after Spencer died. I went through the day as usual, but I completely tuned out to just about everything. Today would've been our tenth anniversary. All I could think about was the note Spencer had left for me. I had found it as I went to finish cleaning up. All it had said was, _Let me go Toby-S_. But Emily finally said something during dinner that caught my attention.

"Holy shit! Is that-? No. Not possible."

"What Emily?" I asked confused.

"She's coming this way. No. It isn't possible. She's dead." That really grabbed my attention, and I turned around to be greeted by coffee-brown eyes. I couldn't help but stare. That was all I could do, was drink in the hair the body, the face the eyes I had been craving for ten years.

"Spencer?" I breathed.

"Hey Toby."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Wow I appreciate all the reviews (even though it's three, it's more than I expected. Oh well.) So here's chapter 2, I hope you guys like it! Please review I'd love it so much if you did! Bye!  
**

As I drinks her all in, all of her, all I can think is _Impossible she died ten years ago. Didn't she?_

"Spencer?" I breathe.

"Hey Toby." I just stare with his mouth slightly ajar. A few minutes pass, with Emily and me staring at her, when Emily stands up suddenly, and slams her hands down on the table, furious.

"_Spencer?_ You?! Alive?! For ten damn years?! And you never thought, oh, it's been a few years maybe I should tell my best friends and my boyfriend that I'm really alive! A disappeared suddenly about eight years ago, and you never thought to come back?! God when I tell Hanna and Aria they are gonna hate you. And leaving Toby like this? He has been stuck in a vicious cycle of come and go, rarely speaking except when spoken to, and you never thought to contact him especially? What happened to being in love with him? I don't even want to hear what you have to say. Try calling, oh I don't know, in another _ten years_!" and with that Emily stormed out of the restaurant. Spencer stood there, with every eye in the restaurant turned on her. I still just sat there processing everything, and I just watched as the people of Rosewood began to gossip once more about the boy with the blue eyes, and the girl with the chocolate-brown hair. I just watched as tears slid down the face of the only person I had ever loved. I just watched as she ran out the door, and just sat as my waiter came and asked me a question. I suddenly leaped out of my seat and bounded out the door, intent on finding Spencer to figure this all out. I saw her get into her car, and I ran as fast as possible to catch her. Right as she started to back up, I threw his hands on the hood.

"Spencer! We need to talk!" I yelled. She gestured for me to get in.

"Somewhere more private to yell at me," She said, brushing away her tears. I looked at her, knitting my eyebrows together.

"I'm not gonna yell at you. Em was just overwhelmed. Seeing your best friend alive after ten years of mourning and seeing your grave every day, just to find out you were alive? That's gotta hurt. Imagine how you would have felt if Alison was still alive. But I did have a reason to come talk to you. I almost want nothing to do with you. I mean, I have literally done nothing for the past ten years. It's the same thing over and over. Get ready, eat, work, dinner with Emily, go home go to sleep, repeat. That has been the past ten years for me. I can barely even process that I'm sitting next to you in a car, speaking with you. But I need to know why. Why did you leave? Why for ten years? When A disappeared you could've come back if that was your reason. Why now? Why today of all days to come back? Do you even know what today means to me Spencer?" I asked rushing everything out at once. She gulped and nodded.

"Yeah. I know what today means to you," she said quietly, and mumbling so softly so that I almost couldn't hear, "and me too." But speaking at a normal voice, she began to explain.

"I did intend to die that night, but I didn't. When I woke up, I was almost ready to be released, with therapy of course. But I paid the doctor taking care of me and any nurse that saw me, pretty good money to forge my records, saying I was dead. I needed everyone to believe it too. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you guys. I wanted to so badly. But I knew some vital information about A. Something that could definitely let me take them down. So I worked to unmask them, and as soon as I did, I killed Big A. The rest of the team went to jail of course. But I forgot the biggest thing of all. I forgot that Ali was still alive." At this my jaw dropped to the floor of the car, and my eyes must've been huge, because she said, "Yeah, I know. But she continued my torture, except she let me know exactly who was doing it this time. She would send pictures of you guys. You all looked so happy. But the ones that hurt the worst were the ones of you. At first, they were all of you being so sad. But then, they started being of you and Emily at dinner. I just assumed the worst. That you and Emily were together. But then of course I realized how ridiculous I was being. Of course you had moved on from me. It had been four years at that point. I had everything of yours with me while I was on the run. But you apparently know exactly how I felt. But you didn't have the constant fear of, Is Alison gonna resort to hurting him? Has Toby moved on? Should I go back? But I never did anything about it until now. Alison is gone, I got her arrested, and I could come back, it's finally safe. I know you're going to need time to process this and of course I don't expect immediate forgiveness, but could you at least try for me? I really needed to come back Toby. Here's my new number. If you decide to forgive me, just let me know. It'd be nice to have a friend in this town," she said, smiling sadly. She gave me her number, as I sat silently, processing everything. As I moved to get out of her car, she kissed me full on the lips for about two seconds before releasing me. I stood on the curb, and watched her go. I watched the love of my life I had believed dead for so long pull away from the restaurant, and tried to process the whole ordeal. I'd have to try and get Em to talk to her. But how?


End file.
